Are you exactly where you want to be in life?
Do you love the path you are on and are happy with all the choices you have made?
Is everything about your health and your life okay or truly amazing?
For myself and many of my patients, our lives and our health are pretty good. But many of us are left wondering, could it be even better? Could we feel better and be even more fulfilled? And if so, how?
Of course, we can’t go back and change the past. However, we can shift our direction ever so slightly and end up in a drastically different place over time. If an airplane veers off course by just 1 degree, 60 miles later it will be 1 mile off of its target destination. If a plane that leaves NYC en route to LA veers off course by 1 degree, it will miss the airport by 46 miles. So you see, like the airplane, small shifts in our lives lead to huge changes with time and consistency.
For starters, you have to know where you want to go. Any road will take you there if you don’t know where you are going.
The secret is deciding where you want to go and then making choices every day that move you a few steps closer to where you want to be.
Here are the exact steps I take in my life to achieve my goals and live an amazing life on purpose.
Step 1: Make a list of everything you want in your life. Stopping to think about what you really want and focusing on it will help you get off the autopilot default path and onto an intentional path. Dream big here.
Step 2: Pick ONE thing you’d like to focus on and be specific. This is exercising constraint. We can’t do it all at once. Focus on one goal for starters, and then you can come back to another later.
Step 3: Write down the one goal you choose to work on now. Place it somewhere where you can see it every day.
The next thing that will happen is your brain will FREAK OUT!
Our brain is wired to keep us safe. The primitive brain in all of us is designed for survival and it feels much safer to stay in a pattern you are used to. However, if you keep doing the same thing, you will end up at the same destination, with the same results. To shift out of this we need to provide our brain with some structure and supervision. It thinks on its own all the time without our guidance so some direction is good here. Accept that as you choose to shift to a different path, fear, doubt, and shame will come up. New paths are scary! Recognize that this doesn’t mean something has gone wrong or there is something wrong with you. This is exactly what is supposed to happen!
Step 4: Anticipate obstacles and brainstorm solutions. Yes, you will hit bumps on the road. That is all part of the journey. Predict what you can do and plan for these hurdles. Understand that your brain doesn’t like to go outside of your comfort zone.
Your brain was designed to:
- Seek pleasure
- Avoid pain
- Exert as little energy as possible.
As soon as you start introducing new things, stretching your brain, and persuading it to go outside of its comfort zone, uncomfortable emotions will arise. You may think things like “You aren’t cut out for this.” Or, “This may work for other people, but not for me. Who do you think you are?” This is your brain trying to protect you, but it’s also your brain keeping you stuck. Acknowledge what is happening and keep going despite these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings.
Step 5: Go to your future self for advice. He/she is so wise. Picture your future self where you want to be. Your future self has already accomplished it. Ask the future you questions. You’ll be blown away by how much wisdom you find within yourself.
Step 6: Write an action plan. It’s helpful to break big goals into smaller more manageable steps. I sure love checking things off a to-do list and if the goal is too big, it feels too hard to tackle. As you are creating this plan, don’t say I don’t know. It’s the biggest dream stealer. Instead, say “I don’t know . . .YET.” You can figure things out or find people to help you along the way.
Step 7: Set goals and attach them to a timeline. You may have to fail along the way and it’s ok. FAIL can be an acronym for First Attempt In Learning. Adjust your course and keep going. The only difference between someone who ultimately succeeds and someone who fails is that the person who failed gave up.
There is nothing you genuinely want that you can’t have.
So that’s the process. Fail. Keep going. Learn. Fail. Keep going. You’ll get there eventually. The path may be squiggly but that’s ok. This is exactly how it is supposed to be! Not easy, but nothing in life that is worth having is.
Set goals not because you have to, but because you want to. Nothing you accomplish makes you more worthy. You are 100% worthy at birth. I’m growing, learning, and evolving because I want to. I want to create my life on purpose, not by default and all it takes is deciding where I want to go, taking steps regularly towards that destination, and not giving up. You can too!
You’ve got this!
Dr. Libby
P.S — Register for my 12-week program The Energy Accelerator. This program will help you take back your energy and shift from surviving to thriving so that you can invest fully in yourself and your relationships.
